VII Gates
Fire Walk With Me
4.8
Usually a band’s resemblance to a traveling troop of dancing hermaphrodites has no relationship with the quality of their music. Motley Crue may have looked like the world’s most gender-challenged group of gentlemen, but they still managed to sell a sickening amount of records and more importantly, gain the admiration of syphilis ridden bandwhores worldwide. Genius.
What’s my point? Well… think of the words Same Fucking Scenario. The only problem is that VII Gates don’t live up to the musical end of the bargain. They're not awful by any means, but I could have sworn I heard the words ‘Bar Band’ chanting over and over again in my head as I listened to their recent cheeseburger rock opus, Fire Walk With Me. Either they’re mediocre or I’m fuckin mental.
Before any of the idiots out there decide to brand me a “Power Metal Hater” and piss all over my credibility as if I were some intensely self righteous Metal Hammer journalist, let me first declare myself as a longtime power metal fan. But seriously… this is not Grave Digger or Blaze, Nightwish or Iced Earth: This is an oblivious cover band. Thanks again Sweden. First Hammerween and now this shit. Move along folks. Nothing to see here.
In fact the only reason I’ll be telling you what this album sounds like - is because I’m OBLIGED to.
Ironically, Fire Walk With Me starts off rather well. The opening track, “Bounded by Hate” has a definite classic Priest vibe. The musicianship is actually rather good, everything is tight and well executed but god help me… I just keep getting the feeling that Paul Gilbert amongst others may have to sue someone. After the decent opening track, things quickly dwindle into some circus folk nightmare with “Saviour”: happy clappy rhythms fluctuate along to organs and accordions with a few gallops on the guitar – You can't help but imagine a Gypsy band fronted by the Bulgarian equivalent of Michael Kiske.
“Seconds Left to Live” is one of the few fairly decent tracks on this album. Decent riffs, consistent vocals and no Gypsies in earshot, there’s evidence here that VII Gates could actually be a pretty good band. Their main downfall is definitely in the vocal department. The notes sung, sound quite shrill and out of tune on occasion, but most essentially, the intensity of the first few songs dribbles into a power ballad compilation that even certain members of Heart would not willingly possess. (“So Far Away”, “Tormented” and “Love Ballet” successively). God bless the guitarists in VII Gates, they're the only ones who save this sour tasting bile for music from Power Metal purgatory.
Conclusion: They make Primal Fear sound like Judas Priest. (pun intended).
