Corpsepyre
The Living We Mourn
1.5
I wouldn't normally do this, but perhaps it will get edited. Upon listening to Corpsepyre I was moved to write the following to a Metal Review UberGeneral in a brief exchange involving various site related topics: ---What about that corpsepyre? Man, I read the bio, and it's like "gotta get behind these motherfucking pakistanis, right? I mean, death metal from Pakistan...they have to be the only two people in that country that would even dare to try it" but it's SHIT. Utter fucking shit. Skepticism shit. Windrider will probably come back and tell me how this is the first retardodeath band and I shouldn't even be reviewing it cause I don't "get it", but honestly, this demo is the worst. I feel bad. I want to like it. Cute little pakistani death metal guys, no bassist or drummer, putting their little samples in there like Mortician or something...you know these two are stoked, and pure. Not like all the Euro/Americo cynical asswipes trying to be shitty to prove how elite they are. But they are just so fucking bad...it's a conundrum.--- Look, I don't know shit about the Pakistani underground metal scene - it might be thriving like maggots on a corpse in the forest, but I can't help imagine it's pretty dismal. If there are a few DM bands from that area of the world, I have not been made aware of it. And for this reason this following review is doubly bitter to me. Corpspyre are, according to their press release, two young men from Pakistan with a burning desire to make brutal death metal. And Allah bless 'em, they do. But the brutallity is not contained in the attitude or the style per se: it's in the lack of anything remotely desireable in the execution. This three song EP is just bad. I mean, bad bad bad. Not even so bad it's good. Just bad. I gather the guitarist and singer could find no drummers or bass players willing to make the kind of extreme metal they love, so the guitarist did it all himself, which was a very poor decision in my opinion. This EP makes you long for Mortician. To describe the sound adequately I would ask you to imagine recording a band with some kind of boom box placed in a different room from the band itself. The band is on acid, and it's the brown kind. The drummer is two, has tourettes of the arms and no elbows. The bass player is dead. His rig is used by the singer as a PA. Monkeys are attacking them with summer sausages while they play. Now, take the tape, freeze it and then dip it in grape jelly. This tape would KICK ASS compared to Corpsepyre's. Bottom line: Gentlemen, I applaud your resolve to make the music you love. I applaud your fortitude to create and release this EP dispite being unable to find enough musicians to make it work. I admire your willingness to go the extra mile on instruments you are not altogether familiar with in the name of all that is morbid. But this EP is pretty goddamned bad. I will play the bass on your next job, just send the tapes to me and I will send you back some riffs. I could probably find a drummer, too. Or you could look into a drum machine and synth bass. But for the love of all putrescence, do something. I can't listen to this again.
