Skid Row
Revolutions Per Minute
3.8
When I first saw that I had been sent the new Skid Row album, I have to admit I was excited. A little surprised that SPV was releasing it, but still excited. I was a fan back in the day and still had a morbid curiosity about how they sounded sans Sebastian Bach. I had never bothered to pick up Thickskin (and apparently, neither had most people), so this would be my first exposure to new frontman Johnny Salinger. He’s a competent vocalist with good versatility, so I’m not going to blame him for this pile of shit. That falls squarely in the lap of original members Rachel Bolan, Snake Sabo, and Scotti Hill for allowing Skid Row to turn into a near-parody of its former self.
Actually, that may be too generous a description. Revolutions Per Minute is a schizophrenic mess of an album with only a handful of ties to the debauchery of old (“Another Dick in the System”, “Shut Up Baby I Love You”, “Love is Dead”, Let It Ride”). Otherwise, the band flirts with modern rock/nu-metal sounds on “Disease” and “Pulling My Heart Out from Under Me”, and a bit of pop-punk with “Nothing”. But the greatest atrocities are yet to come.
The first “what the fuck?!” moment comes courtesy of “When God Can’t Wait”, which finds the band shamelessly ripping off the sound of bands like Dropkick Murphys and Flogging Molly. Yes, it’s an Irish punk song. Now, I like Irish punk, but I don’t want it from Skid Row, damnit. Later, it’s “White Trash”, which actually is the closest the album gets to that old vibe, but the lyrics are so ridiculous (and I realize they’re supposed to be) that all I want to do is roll my eyes and laugh AT them and not WITH them as they would like me to do. Strike three is “You Lie”, an acoustic country-style ditty that for some unknown reasons is included TWICE (a bonus remix of the track closes the album). This is just downright ridiculous.
Ever wonder why Sebastian Bach pops up every couple of months to remind us that he is not in Skid Row nor will he ever be again? This is why. Revolutions Per Minute is downright embarrassing. Its like they want to be hip and cool once again but don’t want to completely abandon their roots, and it just isn’t working. Bolan can talk all he wants about how Subhuman Race sucked and how this album is getting better reviews than even Slave to the Grind, but he’s fooling himself if he believes any of it. I don’t want modern sounds from Skid Row, and I certainly don’t want a bunch of novelty songs. I want songs about sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll, and throw in a bad-boy ballad for good measure. C’mon guys, that’s what you do best – why fuck with the formula? At least change the name and let us all remember the band for "Youth Gone Wild", "Monkey Business", and "18 and Life" instead of vainly attempting to be relevant years later.
