Fentanyl
Feeble Existence
4
Let’s say you’ve got a job interview; and not at the Cineplex—like, a good job. You show up early and when they call you in and ask you the first question, you give the best friggin answer possible—I mean, you really nail it. The suits look at each other, nodding in approval, and you start to picture yourself in that corner office, complete with the gentle sounds of Reign in Blood molesting your new co-workers. But when the second question comes, instead of answering, you give them a “watch this” nod and wink, then proceed to unzip your only pair of dress slacks, and wave your tackle at the well dressed gentlemen on the other side of the table. Interview over. The security guards will have little regard for the positively genius response you had for question number one. Such is the case with Feeble Existence, the first album from Fentanyl, and the wiener dangling from the band’s collective fly comes in the form of some amazingly unpleasant vocal work. Seriously—like game over, thanks for playing, don’t pass go, don’t collect two hundred bucks, just get the fuck out, unpleasant.
This Dutch outfit offers classic thrash that borrows heavily from the usual group of old masters, with Slayer being the most pronounced influence. The riffs are wholly derivative, but spirited and often averagely competent. The problem is that they’ve got a frontman that makes Sean Killian sound like Luciano Pavarotti. His monotonous spoken word style is unbearably grating from the get go. On top of that, his timing is sometimes awkward, and the album’s shoestring production places him front and center in the mix. Feeble Existence does provide for a bit of a good time in its retro spirit, and its poor production and other flaws might make it kitschy enough to crank up every now and then with your buddies in a bout of drunken obnoxiousness. But my three spins of Feeble Existence proved a painful experience. You can find out for yourself, as the band has made this album available for download on the website. You really should check it out.
