Grone
Grovel
4.8
Grone lay out a perplexing entrée with Grovel. It's one of those times for me when I think I’m ready to open my mouth and deliver a verdict but the words seem to catch each time and I have to take another moment to consider what it is exactly that needs to be said. I think I hate this album, in fact, the more words I lay down the surer I become of that fact. Fuck Alanis Morissette for popularizing stream of consciousness and fuck me for having put our readers through this first paragraph but believe you me, it was necessary.
If I say to you that this album makes repetitious use of Jump da Fuck up Beatz, would you know what I mean? Think back to Korn’s more popular albums and then just pick a song, any song. Not necessarily the kiss of death, but certainly a trigger that should set off alarm bells in the mind of any self respecting metal fan. Allow me to further explain the equation and shed light on some of its other disturbing qualities. Grovel was without a doubt performed using 7-string guitars. I know what you may be thinking, and you are correct. Meshuggah did use a similar instrument and create something genuinely interesting. Grone even have a vocalist that shouts in a gruff fashion similar to the aforementioned band but time signatures for the advanced music theory student are nowhere to be found here my friends. Tracks 1-4 of this album are irredeemable, suffering from a laughably programmed drum tone and equally childish implementation of those drums. The sound is further dragged through the mud by guitars tuned so low and beat upon so carelessly that I can only call this soup of the day: Bounce de Shite.
Hold the phone… there is some kind of devious plot at work here.
Grovel’s fifth track is entitled, “End Grovel, in with Stains and Omissions.” Following this hokey interlude of band members having a scripted discussion over whether or not they ran out of ADAT tape, the remaining five tracks suddenly take a leap in production and competence. Instead of sounding like a parody of industrial nu-metal these last tracks sound more like Mortician doing their best to incorporate Korn and Fear Factory into their sound. I’m not sure exactly who this appeals to but it for damned certain is not me. So, it turns out Grovel is a collection of demos from who knows when slapped together by a band that isn’t quite ready to call it quits. If there is another release looming, I would suggest for its title: “Beating the Dead Horse.”
