Stormfagel
Den Nalkande Stormen
3.2
Synopsis:
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Review:
This is what I get for reviewing outside the box and taking on stuff I normally wouldn't touch with Drew Ailes’ genitals, signing up for this, Sepiroth and Dornenreich. Now I know what I’m getting into reviewing stuff on Prophecy (Dornenreich) and Cold Meat Industries (Sephiroth, Stormfågel) so it’s my own fault, but honestly some of Prophecy’s stuff has been nice (Empyruim, Gae Bolg, Elend) and Cold Meat has long been the flagship label for melancholy ambience and the Sephiroth isn’t bad at all. But this is wretched.
What we have here is some neo-classical/folk ambient/industrial droning backed by a caterwauling drunk Hungarian female singer. Arguably going for the same Eastern European ethnic vocal ambience as say Bloody Sign or Hate Forest, but missing miserably, rather than ethic ambiance, the female vocals come across as catatonic chanting and the ‘music’ itself is lifeless and stoic. The programming of brainchild Andreas Neidhardt is at best-bland, there’s no crescendoes or peaks, just a folkish lull with some occasional horns, strings and his own lifeless chants.
If opener “Anyám édesanyám” doesn’t make you either fall asleep or go see if your cat is under a car outside, then you might enjoy the rest of the album, but for me, it served as an early warning system for the rest of the album. “Daydreaming” gives us a piano laced breather that’s relaxing and fluid, but never goes anywhere and Neidhardt's chants kind of ruin the mood. Then “ A vicei temetöbe”, gives us a neoclassical intervention, and it admittedly has a nice underlying melody, but never does anything with it except repeat it and makes it far less enjoyable with more Hungarian whining. Then, in a curveball of sorts the brass lope of “Pessimism” sounds like Ennio Morricone (The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly Soundtrack amongst others) on Valium, not really bad in itself but Neidhardt’s chants are unnecessary. Then there’s the strange American Civil war flute march of “Man Will Always be a Man” that somehow reminded me of Manowar’s overwrought “American Trilogy”. Then I should at least mention the track “Holy Sheep”....simply because it's called “Holy Sheep”. I understand the track’s religious undertones, but slightly better wording might have been less comical.
I wont bore you with describing the rest of the album’s scattershot folk/industrial collision (awkwardly typified by “A Poison Tree”), but luckily most of the 10 tracks are not too awfully long, making the suffering tolerably short. But needless to say, Cold Meat really missed the mark signing 'Stormbagel' especially considering their influential roster of bands and records.
