Slik Helvetika
Self Titled
6.2
The driving force behind Slik Helvetika is a man named Mikhall Myers. It’s pretty much his show, plus a drummer and studio bassist. But with a name like that, you can see why he chose to create a band moniker rather than call the band “Myers” or “Mikhall”. Maybe it was a good idea to keep his real name out of the spotlight on this one. For this self-titled debut, Myers walks that fine line between Dio-esque power metal and Motley Crue-esque hair metal, and often finds himself stumbling over to one side or the other with expected results, and even the middle ground is highly mediocre.
Let’s start with the good side. A number of tracks here do indeed invoke the spirit of Dio and his brand of storybook fantasy metal. Album opener “War Machine” is a strong, fist-pumping type of track that gives way to the equally impressive “Scream”, which features some killer lead work from Myers and proves that the guy has got some chops. “Swine” pops up a bit further in, and “Silhouette” explores territory reminiscent of “Don’t Talk to Strangers”. The album closes with “Where Blood Spills”, going out on a high note.
Now, littering the rest of the space there is the mediocre to bad stuff. After the two proper openers, the album does a 180 into bad cheese with the mid-tempo “High on You”, which just screams “Motley Crue D-side”. “September” might have been acceptable back in 1988, or even if you snuck it onto your own mixtape of monster ballads, but here it just sounds dated and pathetic. I’m torn on “She Kills”, though. On the one hand, it’s a pretty rocking track. On the other hand, lyrics like “Bump and grind me/fuck me, sixty-nine me” made me wince. While remaining tracks like “Skies” and “Boy in Blue” aren’t necessarily bad, these are the “middle ground” tracks I referred to earlier, and they just don’t come off as anything memorable or make me want to do anything except wait patiently for the next track.
This may be the first and only time I’ll feel bad about trashing someone’s art. It’s not just that Myers shows such promise that goes unfulfilled; it’s that he is so passionate about his music. From the liner notes:
“Although loudly screamed, there are many messages about life and it’s lessons within. Reviewing them while putting this CD cover together reminded me who I really was and what life is about. Get something out of this stuff and it’s energy. You’ve got to live like your burning the sky, step over the line. Talk is cheap and a friend to the weak but the warrior doesn’t pay mind.[sic]”
and
“[Thanks to] . . . our military . . . for allowing us the privilege of freedom to make this life and our goals happen.”
It’s hard to hate a guy with that sort of boundless enthusiasm and love for what he does. So, sorry for the bad review, Mr. Myers. I’m sure you’re a great guy, but this album just isn’t for me. Here’s hoping you find that rabid fan base that you’re shooting for. Maybe you’ll get me next time, Slik.
