3 Headed Moses
Ribs And Guts
4.3
Chapter three of Drew's overly-ambitious MetalReview.com demo/unsigned/submission tackling yields something welcome in contrast to the last two. Don't get your hopes up, however, as the only reason it's as welcomed as it is has to do with the fact that I've spent this entire day listening to total drudge. So to hear something that's less bad is not only relieving, but mandatory at this point.
Let's cut to the chase - 3 Headed Moses sound like your friend's older brother's death metal band. Not the worst thing you've ever heard, but you're fully aware they're probably not going to receive a lot of national exposure anytime soon. Not just because of the basement recording, but because it's not grossly offensive to the ears, but not something you'd take notice to after hearing - they're just sort of there. Moderately paced, they play what sounds like the early beginnings of death/thrash metal, minus the vibrancy and spirit. This obviously wasn't meant to be taken too seriously, and one listen of the traditional heavy metal sound of "666 Pack & A Baseball Bat" makes this abundantly clear. "Gator Grip" has the standard death metal growls, but also the occasional King Diamond shriek - it's so ineffective with the poor production though. The basswork sounds impromptu half the time, and the drums are barely audible. There are some...slightly more polished moments, like the cheesy NWOBHM solo on "Swiftly The Blade Will Fall", or the fast part on "With My Knife", but it takes so long to get to a good part that you find yourself losing interest too quickly. Needless to say, the novelty wears off almost immediately and you find yourself cursing the person who gave this clearance to be released to the public.
I understand this is a bunch of guys just fooling around, but in the future, I'd rather avoid having to review as many fruitless and miscarried bands as possible - especially those who write hour long albums. All I'm left thinking after each one of these songs is a simple "Oh, that's what that one sounded like. Okay." 3 Headed Moses are lucky my time is so cheap and that I care so little in the end. Regardless, thanks guys for at least creating something that bares some sort of similarity to metal. Next.
