Nalvage
Idiosyncratical Armageddon
3.9
So the subject is Nalvage from Naples eh? I assume by the bizarre non-word they have chosen for the title of this four track EP that the type of Armageddon they bring to the table is peculiar to an individual or perhaps a group, but who knows what madness may lurk within the collective minds of Italy’s twenty-something’s? It’s a quirky fucking madness, I can tell you that much. Idiosyncratical Armageddon opens with a sample that reminds me of something Wasabi Thunderborn would include on one of his Ninja Magic demos, and the sad thing here is that I suspect it was purposely recorded rather than hijacked from some 70’s Japanese film.
[Goofy Samurai Voice] …alone is the One who survives to humanity. [/Goofy Samurai Voice]
Alrighty then. “Unearthly Bloodism” commences soon after the odd sample fades away and it is readily apparent that this band tried to save a few bucks on their set of drum triggers. Sounding sterile is one thing, but it’s almost like a wayward engineer went crazy with the noise gates and compression on this thing while nobody was paying attention. There is an awful halting quality to every stick attack that stays onboard for the duration of the record and the resulting irritation factor only grows upon repeat listens. Compile that issue with a drastic overuse of China cymbals and the fact that the gentlemen behind the kit is drastically overstepping his abilities during every transition and fill on this entire EP and you start to understand the root of what has gone wrong here.
Two terms come to mind while listening to Nalvage: Clusterfuck and Riff Tape. The collection of songs is not without merit or potential but the final product is clearly not well planned out and suffers from a multitude of virginal technique flaws. Dual guitar riffs drift apart from one another consistently and the whole of the band is in constant conflict with a spastic hand manning the high-hat cymbal. There is no semblance of coherence anywhere on Idiosyncratical Armageddon and it is clear this is music spawned from a want to emulate rather than create. What the track numbers tell me are songs are really just pauses in an unchecked deluge of ideas. The only time I feel comfortable giving these guys credit for pulling it together is on a single bridge riff found in “Theuthean”, there for a breathtaking 15 seconds Nalvage reveal what they might sound like a few albums down the road. Until those few albums have passed, avoid this band like the plague.
