To The Bone
Self Titled
3.1
I always feel guilty when I have to give something a bad review. It's satisfying to tear something to pieces sometimes, but often I just feel like an asshole. With To The Bone's self-titled release, I'm not so sure I'm going to have a lot of remorse after I finish writing this. There are some things that are universally wrong, and fundamentally bad. Like murder. Or rape. Or this CD. Sure, you can make the argument that every band has a potential fan base - it's true. But really, it doesn't mean anything in a world where Lindsay Lohan is capable of selling out arenas. When I listen to this, I have this look of horrified bewilderment, like someone just shot my dog right in front of me.
Take the simple and effective riffing of a band like Helmet, and remove the effective part. Now add out of place drumming, and the most heinous vocals you could ever imagine. I can't even explain it. There's backup vocals that sort of resemble Axl Rose - which is a plus, but what the fuck is going on with these songs? "Kill Freak" might be the only listenable track on the album, being just...a lame attempt at thrash, and not mind-numbingly stupid like some of the other songs. It's primarily the vocals that ruin it, but even if Devin Townsend was on this album, everyone would love it, but I'd still trash the shit out of it. I don't even know how to describe how bad this is, and it's difficult for me to try and start to touch on where To The Bone go wrong. Everything's bad. The riffs, the drumbeats, the bass - even the lyrics. Solos that go nowhere, and leads that don't even have a clue as to where the fuck nowhere could even be. "Deny The Gods" is...an...okay song, sounding at least like it's bar-quality rock before another aimless solo comes in. And to be fair, the last song, "Dead Brothers Of Innocence" is kind of a decent QOTSA rip-off.
Now I understand why the person who originally signed up for this album stopped writing for us. Most likely, he probably quit life all-together and wanders around his city guzzling Tussin DM. This is unbearable. I need to get to a taco-buffet or something before I completely lose hope in everything.
