Thor and Mick Hoffman
Beastwomen From the Center of the Earth
2.1
What do you get when you cross a computer, Gwar, The Toxic Avenger, and Dr. Demento? Answer: this piece of shit.
The first thing you learn in any high school journalism class is that all news stories should cover the six basic questions: who, what, when, where, how, and why. I’d like to focus on the last of these questions. Why? Why in the hell did someone think that anyone, even a single person, would want to pay for and listen to this music? Why would someone waste his time producing such a goofy and worthless album? And lastly, why in the hell did I select my latest review based on the most unusual album title?
This collaboration between the muscle bound, long time failing “musician” Thor and comic book artist Mick Hoffman has produced an album that is off the charts in its campiness. Remember the song “Fish Heads” from the ‘80s? Stupid electronic music and that goofy voice singing “Fish heads, fish heads, rolly polly fish heads. Fish heads, fish heads, eat them up, yum”? That is the closest comparison I can make to this ridiculous piece of “rock theater.” I didn’t bother to pay much attention to the storyline of this concept album, but apparently Thor himself is the hero of the comic book like story. What happens in the story? Who gives a shit.
The music is poorly written, played, and recorded. The vocals are mostly monotone and entirely unappealing. I can honestly say that I didn’t like a single thing about Beastwomen From the Center of the Earth. The Pac Man Fever album was more creative and rewarding. I’ve wasted nearly an hour and a half of my life listening to this album and writing this short review. And you’ve just wasted five minutes reading it.
