Babylon Mystery Orchestra
As Earth As It Is In Heaven
1.7
WHAT. THE. FUCK?!?!?!
I try not to resort to expletives in my reviewing; it at least makes me feel a bit more professional not to. I also try to keep my reviews somewhat detailed and subsequently lengthy, but Babylon Mystery Orchestra is causing me to do just the opposite in both cases. This is just fucking terrible and I really don’t want to write about it any more than I absolutely have to.
After much scrutinizing, all I’ve been able to figure out about On Earth As It Is In Heaven is that it’s somewhere close to industrial rock or metal. Calling it that seems like a huge disservice to anything with any shred of quality coming from that genre (and I can’t stand industrial), but that’s about the closest thing to this atrocity. I guess it also borders on doom and folk-tinged metal at times as well, but for the sake of fairness, lets just classify it as god-awful metal (Ha-ha…the one guy in the band is a Christian and his music is god-awful).
Just about the only way to look at this album in any kind of positive light is to regard it as a comedy record. The music is simplistic, badly produced garbage. The message is annoying and worse, horribly awkwardly delivered. But, the fucking icing on this really badly baked cake is the fact that the singer/multi-instrumentalist lisps. “Thwear to me/ thith ith how it will be/ Thwear to me/ and you’re bound to thith deed.” I’ve literally been laughing out loud at every song.
The website has this to say about Babylon Mystery Orchestra: “The music and ideas contained here can frighten those who dare to understand.” Now, I’m in a good mood today, so I won’t go on a tirade about the fact that this guy can only attribute the “ideas” in his “music” to the people who brainwashed him during his upbringing. I don’t really think a metal review site is the place for me to get into my feelings on religion anyway. Suffice it to say, the ideas are nothing you haven’t heard millions of times before, and whether or not you agree with them doesn’t change the fact that the music is indeed frighteningly bad and shouldn’t be listened to by anyone. If you do agree with the ideas and are one to choose music based on that, go listen to some Extol or Living Sacrifice instead. At least they kick ass.
My suggestion to anyone reading this: Visit the band’s web site and listen to a few songs, giggle like an idiot and then avoid this garbage at all costs for the rest of your life.
